A Real Man

“Okay, got the plan?” Eddy asked, a large grin stretched across his face.

“Gotcha, Eddy!” Ed nodded, smiling his usual silly smile, oblivious to what really was going on around him. Only the thought of chickens on the brain.

“But, Eddy,” Edd started, always the noble one, “It isn’t right for us to steal. What would our mothers think? And why chickens, of all things?”

“Listen, do you want to get money for jawbreakers or not?” Eddy huffed, annoyed.

“Think of the chickens, Double D!!” Ed whined, wrapping his dirty green coat-sleeves around Edd’s head in a hug, “I wanna play with the chickens!”

“O-OKAY! OKAY! Just please, let me go!!” Edd cried, trying to pull Ed’s arms off, but failing terribly.

“Enough of that, blockhead,” Eddy chirped, yanking Ed off of Edd, “We got chickens to get!”

“CHICKENS!!” Ed cheered, running in the direction of Rolf’s house with Eddy attached to his coat and Edd being dragged along by Ed himself.

--

Rolf was outside in the summer heat, working hard in plowing the ground to keep the soil for his garden soft and easily fertile. Letting his rake stab into the ground and leaning up against the end, Rolf wiped the sweat off his forehead.

Not too far away, in the brush, the three Eds hid; Edd rebelling on their new plan, Eddy trying to force Edd to do as he commands, and Ed… excitedly waiting to get his hands on those chickens not too far away.

“Come on, Double D!” Eddy whispered harshly, “Just keep Rolf distracted while Ed and I snatch those chickens, okay? You’re not doing anything wrong! So stop whining and get out there so we can get this over with already!”

“I’m helping out and that makes it wrong, Eddy,” Edd shot back, folding his arms across his chest and nose raised in the air stubbornly.

“Just do it!” Eddy ordered, pushing Edd out of their hiding place, knowing words wouldn’t work no matter how long he tried.

“EDDY!!” Edd yelled, about to scold his short friend on how rude it was to push others around, when a new, but familiar voice cut him off.

“Smart Ed-boy?”

Yelping, Edd turned around fully to face the blue haired boy, hands twiddling behind him nervously. “Oh, why, hello, Rolf!” he forced out in his usual polite and friendly tone, “It’s a wonderful day, is it not?”

“Yes,” Rolf smiled widely, “Wonder day for Rolf to work and do family chores.”

“My, what wonderful commitment you have,” Edd replied in half fake, half true admiration, “You’re family should be so proud to have you as their offspring.”

“Oh, well… uh…” blushing, Rolf’s smile widened even more as he snatched Edd’s hand in his as he stated, “Let Rolf show Smart Ed-boy Rolf’s new garden.”

“Oh, well, I guess it wouldn’t hurt,” Edd smiled, this time showing nervousness then hidden resentment on friends not-to-be-named.

As Rolf dragged Edd away, Eddy let out a soft cackle before tugging on Ed’s ear to get the taller boy’s attention. “C’mon, lumpy,” he chuckled out, “Lets get those chickens while lover boy shows off his garden to Double D.”

“I love chickens, Eddy!” Ed cheered, before running off to retrieve the said animal.

“I know, Ed, I know,” Eddy huffed, rolling his eyes before rushing to catch up with his friend.

--

Near the garden, Rolf was showing Edd all the blooming and near-ready-to-pick fruits and vegetables. After yelling at Welfred to stay away from the carrots and strawberries, Rolf turned to the raven haired Ed-boy.

“See anything you like?” Rolf asked, smiling as charmingly as he could.

“Well, mother and father would love to have such a selection of healthy and homegrown food,” Edd tutted, looking thoughtful, if not for the fact that he was always thoughtful; In both ways.

“No, no,” Rolf huffed, spinning Edd to face him instead of his garden, “Rolf asked what Smart Ed-boy wants, not mother or father. Just you.”

“Oh…” blinking, Edd smiled sheepishly, if not adorably, as he replied, “I guess those melons would make a wonderful treat…”

“Then Rolf will give you some as soon as they are ready to be harvest,” the son-of-a-Shepard announced, proud of his own decision.

“I-I’m flattered, really,” Edd stuttered, a blush now on his pale cheeks, “But… I don’t think I can except such a gift, where you had worked so hard on, without giving something in return.”

‘That,’ he added in his mind with a grimace, ‘And I’ll feel even more terrible for allowing Eddy to use me as a distraction on Rolf…’

“Nonsense, Delicate Ed-boy!” Rolf laughed, slamming his hand against Edd’s back, almost knocking him to the ground by his own strength, “A gift is a gift. Honor Rolf’s family by excepting.”

“W-well, if you really insist,” Edd gulped, forcing a small smile to his lips. ‘Did he really have to call me ‘delicate,’ of all things?’ he questioned silently in his mind, before something caught his attention.

There, a good meter away, Edd could see Eddy and Ed running back and forth from the brush, stuffing the chicken in a hidden sack the shorter boy had dragged out from under his bed. Good thing all this was happening behind Rolf, or the taller, not to mention stronger, boy would have been having a fit.

Gulping at the thought, Edd nervously forced out, “You… You’re very strong, Rolf. Does the chores you do help out with it?”

“But of course,” Rolf beamed, gloating as he flexed his arm muscles, “Only a real man is claimed as one after good hard work and discipline… Go ahead and feel, Delicate Ed-boy.”

‘Not that name again…' Edd whined, but kept his thoughts to himself as he timidly lifted one hand and rested it over the bulging muscle that Rolf was so proud of. Feeling it move under his palm, the long raven haired one almost drew his hand back, startled, but was forced to keep it where it was as Rolf snatched his arm to keep it still.

“Don’t be shy,” Rolf’s smile softened from its wide grin, before growing again as he added, “You’re touching a real man now.”

‘Oh, gosh, this is embarrassing!’ Edd thought as a deep blush attacked his cheeks. With a tiny smile, he got out a soft, “You must be proud… This is an amazing accomplishment.”

“Then… you are pleased with Rolf..?” the blue haired boy asked hopefully, something in his eyes sparkling to life.

“W-w-well, I-uh…” gulping, Edd tried to take a step backwards, but Rolf’s grip on his arm was too strong for him to even try and break. Instead, he was saved as Eddy’s arrogant voice cut through the air, catching both boys’ attention easily.

“HEY! Stop flirting and get your butt over here! We’re not getting money by doin’ nothing!”

“Eddy!” Edd yelped, blush deepening even more at that first comment, “That was very rude! Apologize to Rolf this instant, mister!”

“What are you, my mom?” Eddy huffed, “Just get over here! Pigeons ain’t gonna catch themselves!”

With an exasperated sigh, Edd turned an apologetic look over to Rolf, smiling sadly as he started, “I really should be going now… It was a pleasure to speak with you again, Rolf.”

“Rolf must agree,” Rolf smiled back. Before letting Edd’s arm free, he leaned down to place a kiss on his cheek, adding, “Try not to get into too much mischief now, Delicate Ed-boy.”

Slapping a hand over the kissed cheek, Edd stared wide eyed at the taller boy, before making a quick and stuttered “good-bye” and dashing after the others. ‘Oh, my, GOSH!!’ he thought, the blush now a burning sensation growing hotter and hotter the more he thought of the kiss, ‘I can’t believe he did that!’

Still standing by the garden, Rolf calmly watched as Edd disappeared with his two friends. Smiling proudly, he turned back to his work, his eyes more glued to the melons than anything else. He was a real man, and as one, he’d win the one he loved easily.

But first things first; Rolf needed to get those melons ready to harvest.  

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