Walk the Line
Part 1
The first time Harvey kisses him, Mike knows it's a mistake.
They
work together. Harvey is his boss, for crying out loud, and the list of
reasons why they shouldn't be doing this is so long that even Mike has
problems compiling a complete mental version of it. It's only a kiss
though, and Mike is still able to push it away as a one-time thing. They
don't go any farther than exchanging frantic kisses – one long frantic kiss – in the back of Harvey's town car. There's nothing to worry about.
The
next time it happens, it completely floors Mike because he would have
never expected there to be a next time. They're at Harvey's place where
they worked through some files and then watched a game on Harvey's
ginormous flat screen, and at some point between the third and fourth
quarter their lips meet again. For a while it's okay, exhilarating even,
to feel Harvey's lips and his tongue driving him absolutely crazy. Then
Harvey's hands slide under his shirt and up his back, fingers running
across his bare skin, and Mike bolts. He's off the couch in a flash,
stammering some bullshit excuse that he can't recall as soon as the
words leave his mouth, grabs his jacket and leaves.
It's not
exactly the mature thing to do, but Mike doesn't quite know what
alternatives there are. This can't go on. Or rather, he really wants for
it to go on, but it can't progress any further. It's straying in dangerous territory as it is, and Mike can't risk falling any deeper into whatever it is.
Only,
this is Harvey they're talking about. Harvey, with those incredible
brown eyes that can be hard and piercing one moment, only to go soft and
almost liquid warm during those rare occasions when he lets go of his
tight control on himself. Harvey with those damn kissable lips that
practically beg to be pressed against Mike's. Harvey with his always so
perfectly styled hair that feels so incredibly good between Mike's
fingers when he musses it up. Mike can worry about falling deeper into
this all he wants, but he's already tumbling headfirst into unknown
territory.
It's Harvey, which means Mike can't resist no
matter how much he wants to. He knows he should stop it before it gets
to the point where it all gets too much, but he's too weak. Harvey is
like a force of gravity, and Mike is helplessly orbiting around him,
with not enough strength to pull away.
The next time it happens,
Mike doesn't run away like a shy teenager the moment Harvey's fingers
touch his bare skin. It feels good, so good, but still he can't let
himself fall into it completely. Not while there's a line he's not
willing to cross, one he needs to keep in sight at all times because
there's no doubt that sooner rather than later Harvey is going to
approach the line with the intention to step over it.
It's hard,
because Harvey's lips and hands are skilled and feel so incredibly good
on his skin, gentle and soft one moment, teasing and demanding the next.
It completely throws Mike for a loop and leaves him feeling helpless,
inevitably excited and aroused by Harvey's presence yet unable to deal
with his body's treacherous reactions and desires.
So when they
end up at Harvey's place to unwind after a long week at work, Mike again
tumbles into Harvey's pull and lets himself fall into the feeling of
the other man's lips on his and a skilful tongue doing wicked things in
his mouth. This time Mike doesn't flee when Harvey's fingers start to
explore his bare skin. He's not a passive participant, either,
especially not once Harvey sheds his shirt and there's a wide expanse of
skin practically begging to be touched and caressed, but there's a
small part of him that keeps worrying about where Harvey intends to take
this. That part of him can't quite help but feel a little relieved when
they barely manage to get rid of the rest of their clothes. Harvey
wrings his orgasm out of him with nothing but his hand and follows Mike
over the edge a few moments later, thrusting into Mike's grip with
frantic jerks of his hips and groaning into Mike's shoulder as he comes,
and through the incredible rush of his orgasm Mike is glad that this
time the line remains untouched.
Handjobs are not what he's worried about.
Somehow
they manage to keep it out of the office. It's not that surprising,
since they're not in a relationship or anything, but still it surprises
Mike how easy it seems to keep things separate. Their work remains
unaffected, Harvey keeps snarking at him at any given opportunity, and
Mike still feels as if the universe has decided that it's only going to
be happy once he's swamped in enough paperwork to keep three associates
occupied for the better part of a week. Whenever Harvey looks at Mike
while they're in the office, his gaze is that of his boss, hard,
calculating and distant, not letting on that only a few days ago he had
his hand wrapped around Mike's cock while he came all over Mike's hand.
By all rights, the change should be disconcerting, but it doesn't feel
wrong.
The next time those eyes soften when he turns them towards
Mike with unabashed desire, Mike feels his throat go dry and a
treacherous stab of arousal shoots through him at the memory of Harvey's
hands on him. Even if he wanted to, there's no way he can resist the
temptation to give in to Harvey's gravitational pull. The invitation for
a casual dinner and a movie is perfunctory, they're both aware of it,
and Mike accepts quickly even though he knows what this is going to lead
to. He's getting hard in his pants at the mere thought of being with
Harvey again, of kissing those lips and touching his smooth, warm skin.
He only hopes that tonight won't be the night when Harvey attempts to cross the line.
They
end up in bed this time, and completely naked instead of half-dressed
with their hands down each other's pants. It's just like Mike remembers,
maybe even more exciting because this time there's no clothes
separating the slide of skin on skin. Harvey is touching him in all the
right places, his hands sure and determined. But then Mike feels those
hands slide down his back, cupping his ass and squeezing, and that's
straying pretty damn close to the line, and it's exactly the point where
Mike needs to stop this.
He freezes up for a second, maybe less.
He hopes that Harvey doesn't notice, though, and before the older man
can get any ideas about taking this somewhere he's not ready to follow,
Mike slides down Harvey's body, wraps his mouth around his cock and
takes him as deep as he can.
It's a pretty obvious diversion, but
the deep, guttural moan that escapes Harvey's mouth as Mike swallows
him down shows that it works. This Mike can handle. Blowjobs are
safely on this side of the line and Mike has enough experience at this
to make it good for them both, grinding his hips into the sheets for
delicious friction as his mouth works on Harvey's cock.
Harvey
might not be stupid, he might see through his diversion eventually, but
he's also a red-blooded male with his cock buried in someone else's
mouth, so even if he's suspicious of Mike's actions right now he's a
little too preoccupied to do anything about it. It's not long until Mike
has to pin down Harvey's hips to keep them from jerking up frantically
before he stiffens and comes into Mike's mouth with another loud groan.
Mike keeps sucking him through it until Harvey sinks back into the
mattress almost bonelessly. Mike keeps jerking himself off, settling
atop of Harvey so that it's skin against skin from head to toe, and
after a few moments he feels Harvey's hand weakly wrap around his cock
alongside his own. It's not long until he's coming in hard spurts
against Harvey's stomach and he collapses on top of the older man in
exhaustion.
There's something different about the way Harvey
looks at him later, but Mike ignores it. Harvey looks like someone who
has been given a corner piece in a particularly difficult puzzle, but
Mike is not going to deal with that now. Sooner or later this whole
thing is going to blow right up in his face because Harvey is going to
ask something of him that Mike's not willing to give, but for tonight,
the line remains untouched.
He knows it's not going to last. It
can't possibly last, because inevitably Harvey's going to want to cross
the line, but Mike is damn well going enjoy every minute of this until
that moment comes.
It's not that Mike is in any way insecure
about his sexual preferences. He likes women. He likes their softness
and curves, likes the feel their breasts in ins hands and their slick,
smooth tightness around him when he fucks them.
It's just…men are also tempting, especially because
being with a man is vastly different from being with a woman, and it
excites Mike. He enjoys touching hard lines and roughness where women
are soft and smooth, he enjoys the taste and feel of a cock in his
mouth, and he's convinced that guys give better blowjobs simply because
they know how incredible it feels when someone really takes you apart
with their mouth.
So no, Mike has no issues about being with a
man. He enjoys it. It's just…he doesn't like anal sex. He simply
doesn't. Been there, done that, decided it's not for him. Everything
else he's fine with, but penetrative sex…he just doesn't like it.
However, in his experience it's what sexual encounters with other men
inevitably steer towards, and if there's one thing the men Mike feels
attracted to have in common, then that they're very dominant and
unwilling to do anything but be on top.
Which is the reason why
Mike draws that particular line, and he can hide only for so long that
he's not willing to give what his bed partners really want from him.
It's not that he hasn't tried, on the contrary. He wasn't averse to the
idea of bottoming for another man back when it was still a secret
fantasy. It was only once he tried sleeping with another man that he
figured out the experience was…less than satisfying.
It started
during college, before he got kicked out, and admittedly the first time
they fooled around he and Trevor were a little drunk. It was before
Trevor and Jenny got together, so they didn't need to make excuses or
ask for anyone's forgiveness, but still it feels like something Mike has
to keep reminding himself of. It started out when they were drunk. They
were sober the next time, though, and also the first time they took it
farther than exchanging heated kisses and frantic groping. There had
always been a weird kind of attraction between them, something that
occasionally slipped out of the bounds of their tight friendship, and so
it didn't feel weird to be doing this with Trevor. It didn't feel weird
to admit to Trevor that he was interested in men, and neither did it
feel weird that it was Trevor he first acted upon that urge with.
He
figured that if anything, his first time having sex with a man should
be with someone he cared for, even if there was no real romantic love
behind it. Mike had high expectations, but in the end it was an
extremely unsatisfying experience, in more ways than one.
Trevor's
fingers pushing into him felt a little invasive, nowhere near as
pleasurable as Mike imagined they should, and by the time Trevor pushed
into him, Mike's cock had gone limp and he rode it all out with his face
pressed flat into the pillow until Trevor gripped his hips tightly and
pulled him back with a loud groan as he came.
Unrewarding
really was the best word to describe the experience that, even though it
wasn't painful per se, left him feeling sore and empty. First times
were never perfect, though, or so Mike thought. They ended up sleeping
with each other a few more times after that, and it never got any more
enjoyable for Mike. One time it crossed the threshold between not
enjoyable and painful, and after that Mike put a stop to whatever
experimentation was going on between them. He and Trevor slid back into
their boundaries as friends and never strayed beyond them again, and
Mike decided that he really didn't want to repeat the experience of
sleeping with another man.
It's a principle that served him well
over the past years. There have been a few other men after Trevor. Not
many – three to be exact, and it'd be ridiculous to pretend that he
can't recall such a small number. He didn't cross the line with either
of them. He wasn't even tempted, although he knows for a fact that all
three of them would have been more than willing to fuck him into the
mattress if he had given them the go ahead. He hadn't, though. Didn't
want to.
Still doesn't want to, even though now it's Harvey who's
repeatedly taking him to bed and not some random guy he picked up in a
bar late one night. The line still stands. Mike doesn't like anal sex,
and sooner or later Harvey is going to figure out that Mike is
deflecting, that he's amateurishly trying to keep their encounters from
going into a certain direction.
This thing between Harvey and him is far too good to last, and Mike knows it.
Things come to a head less than a week later, and in any other situation Mike might find amusement in the use of the phrase 'things come to a head'
because the moment everything falls apart happens while Harvey is busy
going down on him. He'd surely appreciate the irony of it all in any
other situation, but as it is Harvey has his mouth wrapped around Mike's
cock and his tongue is doing that fantastic swirling motion that is
pretty much driving him insane, so wondering about the irony of a
certain phrase is not very high on Mike's list of priorities at that
moment. It's not even on the list of things his mind is busy contemplating at that moment.
In fact, all his mind seems to be capable of producing is a silent plea of god yes please right there more please don't stop.
Or something to that effect. The details aren't really important. What
is important is that Harvey is sucking Mike's cock and damn but he knows
what he's doing because it's exhilarating and good and Mike almost
forgets the constant nagging worry in the back of his mind because if
Harvey keeps this up he's going to come soon…
It's safe to say
that Mike is a little preoccupied riding this extremely pleasurable
wave, and so the touch of a finger against his hole breaks through the
lust-filled haze in his head without preparation or warning. The finger
is just touching, circling his hole without breaching, but the touch
alone is so far across the line that Mike's whole body tenses from one
moment to the next. It's an instinctive reaction that doesn't involve
conscious thought, and by the time Mike becomes aware of what he's doing
and tries to will himself to relax, it's already too late. His brain is
running in overdrive in an attempt to figure out how he can possibly
stop Harvey from noticing what is going on, but he should have known
that Harvey is too perceptive to let the matter slide. Not again.
Before
Mike can even come up with some way out of this situation, Harvey leans
up. The delicious wet heat of his mouth vanishes from around Mike's
cock, and it leaves him feeling strangely bereft. He swallows against
his suddenly dry throat and forces himself to look at the other man.
Harvey is looking back at him, eyes dark and intense as he catches and
holds Mike's gaze. There's something in Harvey's eyes that Mike can't
quite define, and it makes a feeling of dread spread through him. The
moment last for a few seconds that feel like a small eternity, then
Harvey breaks the gaze and sits up on the bed.
"All right, what is going on?"
Harvey
isn't speaking exceptionally loud, but after the previous silence that
was only interrupted by the rustling of the sheets, the words sound too
loud and harsh in Mike's ears.
"What do you mean?"
And
yeah, if the expression on Harvey's face is anything to go by, playing
dumb really isn't the brilliant idea it seemed in the spur of the moment
in which Mike came up with it. Harvey's brows draw together in visible
exasperation.
"Oh, I don't know, Mike. Up until a minute ago I
thought we were having sex, but then apparently you decided to take up
planking as a side-activity. I have to admit that threw me off a little."
Mike
has known that this moment was coming, but still Harvey calling him out
on his behavior this frankly blindsides him completely.
"I don't…I…you know what planking is?"
"Donna
spends way too much of her working day sending me mindless links, and
that's absolutely not the point. You're deflecting."
"I'm deflecting? You're the one who brought it up in the first place."
The
remark earns him an eye-roll, but it also buys him a second or two to
breathe and try to get his thoughts into some kind of order. Not that it
helps, really, but it's a moment longer to delay the inevitable.
"You
are deflecting, Mike. And you're not even good at it. You seem fine
with what we're doing here, but as soon as my hands get anywhere near
your ass you all but freeze up."
"I didn't hear you complain before."
"I'm
a man, of course I'm not going to complain about a blowjob. But that
doesn't mean I didn't notice that the only reason why you gave me said
blowjob in the first place was that you were trying to keep me from
taking things any further."
"Oh, and since when are you an expert on mind-reading?"
Mike
realizes that he's getting testy and defensive and he it. He feels like
he's being pushed into a corner, even though of course Harvey is right
with what he's saying. It would be so easy to just admit that Harvey has
a point, but something in Mike bristles at the thought. Admitting that
Harvey has a point can only lead to admitting what the point really is,
and then whatever is going on between them is going to be over. Mike
really doesn't want it to be over, even if he's just drawing out the
inevitable.
"I don't read minds, I read people. You might think
you're good at deflecting, but trust me you're not. At first I put it
down to inexperience, but you don't act like a complete novice at gay
sex, either. In fact, you seem just fine with most of it. It's only when
I get anywhere close to your ass that you freeze up, so either my
people reading skills have failed me for the first time and you're
actually an exclusive top who's pretty damn good at hiding his
preference, or there is something we should maybe talk about before
anything else happens in this bed. And before you even think about taking door number one and doubting my people reading skills, think again."
And
that right there is it. The point where Mike has nothing left to
deflect or distract with. The only thing left is telling the truth.
Mike takes a deep breath and forces himself to look into Harvey's eyes.
"I don't like anal sex."
There.
He said it. Now he'd better try to remember where he dropped his
clothes, because Mike has the distinct feeling he's going to need them
in the very near future.
"You don't like anal sex," Harvey
repeats, and there's disbelief in his voice as if Mike has just told him
that he doesn't particularly like to eat or breathe. It's ridiculous,
and it makes Mike even more defensive because it's his damn right not to
like that particular aspect of sex, no matter what Harvey Specter might
think of it. He shuffles into a more upright position so that he's
almost sitting up on the bed, and it costs him most of his self
restraint not to give in to the urge to cross his arms in front of his
chest defiantly.
"No, I don't."
One dark eyebrow rises up in silent contemplation, and Mike feels inexplicably small under the scrutinizing gaze.
"I assume you're basing that general statement on some sort of experience."
"Not that it's any of your business…"
"Considering that your cock has been in my mouth less than five minutes ago, I'd say that makes it my business."
Mike's
not too sure that Harvey's point is as solid as the other man might
think it is. He doesn't want to drag this conversation on, though, not
if the end result is inevitable, anyway, so he gives in rather than
protest.
"I'm not a virgin, if that's what you're asking. I've
had sex before. I've been fucked before, if you really need to know. I
just didn't like it."
Two frown lines appear on Harvey's
forehead, seriously contemplating Mike's words. The expression on his
face makes it clear however that he seems unable to grasp the idea that
someone possibly couldn't enjoy having a cock jammed up their ass. The
thought shouldn't be as far-fetched as Harvey makes it seem.
"Why?"
"What 'why'?"
"Why didn't you like it?"
"What does it even matter? I didn't like it. I don't
like it! Can't you just take that at face value and leave me alone
about it? I'm sorry if your evening didn't go quite as planned, but fact
is that I draw a line somewhere, and anal sex is beyond that line.
That's just how it is, and I don't know why you're making such a big
deal about it."
Now Mike does cross his arms in front of his
chest, and the urge to pull his knees up to his chest as well is almost
overwhelming. It's the exact opposite to Harvey's position on the bed –
he's sitting relaxed, leaning back and supporting his weight on his left
arm while his right hand rests next to Mike's leg on the bed. Mike
feels like he wants to curl in on himself protectively, but Harvey seems
completely at ease like this, naked and no longer aroused, the focus of
his attention now completely on understanding Mike's issue instead of
any of his previous more carnal intentions.
"It matters because sex is a pretty amazing experience if it's done right."
"So
what, you're saying I simply didn't do it right? That's your answer to
everything, isn't it? I don't care for the feeling of having a dick
shoved up my ass, and you automatically assume that it's because it
wasn't the great Harvey Specter doing it, the experience wasn't anything
worth judging by. I don't see you lining up to be the bottom even if
it's such an amazing experience!"
Mike doesn't know why
he's suddenly feeling so angry, but it's a feeling he can't really
control in any way right now. Harvey merely shrugs, which only serves to
fuel the anger even more.
"I actually don't mind spicing things
up once in a while, but it's not my preferred dish on the menu, no.
However, no matter if I end up on the giving or the receiving end of
things, sex doesn't involve shoving my dick up anyone's ass or having anyone's dick shoved up mine. That rarely is a sign of a good experience."
Mike can't help but snort at the statement. "Yes, because you're known for being all about the romance."
"It
has nothing to do with that. Romance is flowers and candles and all the
other bullshit that some people use to hide the fact that they have no
idea what the hell they're doing as soon as the lights go out. Really
good sex is about skill, and the fact that you're talking about having a dick shoved up your ass tells me that the time or times you tried, no real skill was involved."
"Or
maybe I simply didn't like it. There are people who don't enjoy anal
sex. Hell, there's plenty of gay men who want nothing to do with it.
What do you need, empiric proof?"
"How about a more compelling argument than I didn't like it?"
"What, the fact that I make my preferences clear isn't enough for you?"
"Not if I get the impression that you built those preferences based on an experience that could have been better, no it isn't."
Mike
should be going. He should get his clothes and leave, and forget all
about whatever he thought this thing between them could be. He doesn't
have to explain himself to Harvey. They're not in a relationship, and he
doesn't owe the other man anything, much less an explanation for his
sexual preferences. He doesn't, though for the life of him Mike can't
explain why he doesn't just get out of bed and leave.
"So you want me to go into the gory details, is that it?"
"I have to admit that the fact that you call them gory concerns me somewhat."
There's
something new in Harvey's voice, something that in anybody else would
have counted as a notion of concern, but which is so unusual to hear
coming from Harvey that Mike isn't too sure he's not imagining things.
It sounds genuine, though, and it's disconcerting to hear it. Mike
heaves a sigh.
"There was nothing gory about it, okay? If
you want to know the details, it felt invasive and uncomfortable, and it
wasn't really arousing or exciting, either. Other people might get
something out of that, but I'm not exactly a fan of discomfort and
soreness during and after sex."
There's a moment's pause after
Mike finishes speaking, just a second of silence, but it's enough for
Mike to realize that something about their conversation has shifted.
Harvey sits up straighter on the bed, and when he catches Mike's eyes
the frown line between his brows has deepened.
"We are talking about consensual sex here, aren't we?"
"What?
Of course!" Of course they are. Just because Mike didn't particularly
enjoy it doesn't mean that the sex with Trevor wasn't consensual. Mike
agreed to it, more than once in the blind hope that it might get better,
but he did agree to it. What the hell is Harvey thinking?
Mike's
indignation must be showing clearly on his face because Harvey
immediately holds up a placating hand, even if the frown doesn't quite
vanish from his face.
"I'm just trying to find out what can of
worms exactly we're opening up here. It just confirms my earlier point,
though. Consensual sex that ends up feeling invasive, uncomfortable and
not in the least arousing proves that no real skill was involved. Hence
you probably shouldn't judge things prematurely. It's like eating a
badly cooked steak and swearing off meat afterwards."
"Really? Steak? That's what you come up with?"
Harvey
rolls his eyes and runs his hand across his face with a small sigh
before he places it back right next to Mike's leg on the bed.
"Again,
not the point. I was merely trying to point out that your judgment
seems premature if you base it on nothing more than one experience."
Mike doesn't get it. He really doesn't.
"Why are you so dead set on convincing me to sleep with you?"
"I'm
not." Mike casts his most disbelieving gaze towards Harvey, but the
other man merely shrugs and spreads out his hands, palms up, and one
corner of his mouth tugs upwards slightly. "Really, I'm not. But sex is
fun, and it insults me on a personal level to see you deny yourself the
experience just because Trevor is a selfish asshole."
Mike's head
snaps up so quickly that his teeth clash together painfully. He's
absolutely sure he didn't mention Trevor's name, so there's no way
Harvey can possibly know who is it Mike had sex with.
"How did you…"
"An educated guess. He has a habit of being around for those parts of your life for which they don't exactly sell Hallmark cards. It fits, though. I had him pegged as the kind of selfish jerk who doesn't look beyond his own needs."
Mike
wants to protest. He really does. Defending Trevor has become almost
second nature to him over the years, but somehow this time the words
don't make it past his throat. Too many things have happened between
them over the past months, and Mike's life took a completely different
path ever since he started working for Harvey. He's not in the same
place anymore as he was back when he blindly defended Trevor against
anybody, because of anything.
"So what, you want to prove me that you're better in bed than Trevor was?"
"Frankly,
while I'm flattered by the depth you presume for my motivation, I'm
afraid it's really a lot more straightforward than that. I simply want
to sleep with you."
The words almost bring a smile to Mike's face.
"And
you think you're getting anywhere with that if you try to turn it into a
challenge? Because I'm not too sure you're going to be all that
successful with that approach."
The expression that crosses Harvey's face at that statement is almost pained.
"I'm not challenging you, Mike. You'd just try to prove me wrong out of principle alone. No, I had something different in mind."
There's something in his voice that makes Mike perk up in interest. He cocks his head and raises an eyebrow at the older man.
"And what's that?"
A small smirk is playing around the corner of Harvey's mouth.
"I was thinking more along the lines of a deal."
There
is something in Harvey's voice that makes Mike suddenly aware that they
are still on Harvey's bed and yes, they're both still naked, and not
too long ago all he worried about was his impeding orgasm. It's unfair
and downright unethical that Harvey uses that deep, gravelly voice on
him now of all times. He's not quite sure what exactly he's letting
himself in for, but he's a man with urges, and he's in bed with a naked,
incredibly handsome man, and it definitely can't hurt to at least
listen to what Harvey is proposing.
It doesn't mean that he has to give in.
He's not going to cross the line just because Harvey wants him to.
But he has to admit that he's curious.
"A deal, huh? I'm listening."
A
grin starts to spread across Harvey's face and he shifts on the bed so
that he's leaning over Mike, knees beside his hip and his hands bracing
his weight on either side of Mike's shoulders. His face is hovering
close to Mike, not close enough to be within easy reach, but close
enough that his next words are clearly audible even though he keeps his
voice at a low, seductive growl.
"For tonight, you forget about
everything you might have done with Trevor. You forget about that line
of yours, and that you've ever drawn it in the first place. Just for
tonight, you lay back and let me show you how amazing sex can really
be."
Mike can't help the shiver of excitement that runs through
him at the words. The temptation is big, almost overwhelming, but it's
not that easy to simply turn off the memory of his previous experience
just because Harvey Specter tells him to. Mike is not sure he really
wants to let Harvey cross the line, no matter how seductive Harvey's
voice sounds.
The hesitation must be showing on his face, because
when there's no immediate answer Harvey cocks his head to the side and
regards him for a few long seconds. There's no real judgment in the
gaze, but it's obvious that Harvey is deliberating their situation
carefully.
"What if I don't want to sleep with you, no matter what you do?"
Harvey
frowns, as if the answer to that question should be painfully obvious.
It's just not tonight Mike is worried about. He knows Harvey, and he
never once doubts that he's not going to push him beyond where Mike
wants to go. But what if he says no and it changes things between them
irrevocably? Surely Harvey doesn't want to waste any time on Mike once
he figures out that this thing between them is never going to progress
beyond the things two consenting adults can do in bed without going the
whole nine yards.
But if Harvey understands the full impact of Mike's question, he doesn't seem overly concerned about it.
"That's
the beautiful thing about making a deal – there's two sides to it. You
agree to let go of your misguided preconceptions about gay sex for one
night. I'm convinced we don't need to go there, but in the unlikely case
that you decide once and for all that you want nothing to do with it, I
promise I won't bring it up again. Ever."
The words actually
make Mike freeze up again, because they could just as well mean that if
Mike really doesn't enjoy whatever Harvey has in mind, it's going to be
the end of whatever has been going on between them for the past weeks.
No more heated making out, no more frantic attempts to get under each
other's clothes in order to touch the hot skin beneath, no more
interaction beyond that of a boss and his associate. It's a spiral of
apprehension that's tightening in Mike's stomach, one horrible thought
followed by the next, and it's only Harvey's voice that tears him out of
it.
"Remember when I told you that good sex is based on skill?"
There's a flash of something in Harvey's eyes that Mike can't define,
and then he leans in closer. They're still barely touching, but Harvey's
mouth is directly next to his ear now, and his breath is gushing hotly
over his skin and into his hair as he speaks.
"Trust is equally
important. It's probably the most important part of it all. If you don't
trust your partner, then the sex is never going to be as amazing as it
could be. It's not about getting off in a convenient tight hole, Mike.
It's an incredible turn-on to take your partner over the edge. That's
probably the best part about sex. All I need you to do is to trust me,"
It seems impossible, but Harvey's voice drops yet another bit lower, and
Mike can't stop the moan that escapes his lips as he feels Harvey's
teeth close gently around the shell of his ear, feels the other man's
tongue soothe over the spots where his teeth pressed into Mike's skin.
"Trust me with this, and I promise I'm going to make you fall apart."
Harvey
is one hell of a negotiator, and there's no way Mike could resist the
offer. Not like this, with Harvey so close to him that Mike can feel the
heat of the other man's body against his own skin even though they're
not even touching. His hands move almost of their own accord, framing
Harvey's face and pulling him up into a deep kiss. The touch is almost
electric, and the feeling of Harvey's tongue sliding along his lips,
prying them open with no resistance on Mike's part to slide into Mike's
mouth and tangle with Mike's tongue feels so right that he resolves to
stop thinking for now.
He'll worry about whether or not he can bring himself to cross the line when the time comes.